First day of 4th term

*sigh* This day isn't fun!!! Honestly speaking my first day in class this
term is far too much from my worst expectation!!! It's like I am struck
by water and lightning by a difference of a second... It's also like the
mountains fell over me and drowned me into the deepest blue sea... That's
how bad my day is... Actually I am overreacting! Hehe!

My mood is very good when I woke up! I am sooooooooooooooooooo excited!!
But when I saw the room.... Woah! My excitement was crushed in an instant!
What am I gonna do?? If I have no one to talk with??? I have no friends!!!
It's only my hanky and my penny beside me... Always there... Giving me glee..
I am a loner there! I looked stupid! I am talking to myself discussing my
answer to the question of the professor...

I hate it! But I need to adjust! I need to learn to be independent... I need
to stand alone... Cause I... I am forever alone... I know I am not that
intelligent and friendly looking that's why maybe they'll just leave me
alone... I like to be alone... I almost liked it because I am forever alone..
But I can't let myself alone in a classroom and talking to myself while the
professor is discussing for 5400 seconds!!! I don't want to be labeled as
'crazy', 'nerd', 'jerk' anything!!!

I hate it! BUt all my professors are interesting... I think I will learn
more from them... Let's see my improvement... My english will surely improve
after this term... Having these two terror teachers in psychology and mixed
literature, psychology, etc, etc... HOpe I can pass without talking to any1..
*sigh* Life can be so boring when you are alone... But what can I do???????
As if I can do anything about it... I must face every hindrance in my way...
I can do it... I have still my friends??? back in highschool ryt???????????
Always there... Even though they're not around... Our dreams and our memories
will surely make me strong in times like this... I still have my love as my
inspiration... Do you know who she is, or he is??? He is a he! He is me!!!!!
I love myself!!! Cause myself loves me too! hehe! Just joking! I don't have
inspirations for this term but I sure have someone special for me right now..
I'll give you a hint: I have known her for a very long tym... Since I was
young... I don't know if it's fate or destiny but who knows??? There are no
such things as ACCIDENTS!!! All was meant to be! All has a purpose.........
Even this loneliness I am feeling... I know I can use this in the near future..